Love at first site. Why are we drawn to someone at first glance? Why would others have to work for my interest? Some say it is chemistry, some people claim it is your souls recognizing their counterparts, or that the people were connected in past lives and are drawn to each other because of past life experiences, and others can only explain it as Cupid’s Arrows. I believe in love at first site. I fell in love with Alex the moment I saw him. I will try to explain the feeling. I was drawn to him. I know he was special. He was beautiful and I felt a connection with him. He actually felt like he was what I was missing. Like I had been searching for him and finally found him. It was a relief and a comfort to be around him. But, why does this happen?

Do we have souls? Is there something in us that is eternal and has memories of places that we have never been and people we have never meet in this lifetime? My mom thinks so. She told me a story long ago about how she had once navigated her parents out of forest that they had gotten lost in. Their family had never been there before and she was very young. But, she remembered knowing the forest very well and giving them clear directions and even knowing landmarks before they came up along the road. My mom isn’t a story teller and I believe her, but it didn’t happen to me so it doesn’t convince me of past lives. Reincarnation is a very exciting theory. I even had a fortune teller say once that Alex & I were together in a past life. I guess that is possibility # 1.

Possibility #2 Chemistry. Was it just my brain’s release of phermones, dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin? My body releasing these chemicals because of a reaction I had from his chemicals and visa versa? I heard, on an episode of Hero’s actually, that people are attracted to each other because of their smells. Perhaps we have the same smell and chemical reaction when we are around each other causing lust that just happened to grow into attachment and love with us.

Perhaps I will never be able to explain why we felt the way we did when we first meet, and that is fine. I am curious to see how “dating” is going to be without initial love. It’s kinda hard for me to intentionally be with someone I’m not overcome by. It seems like a waste of time. Why would I take time away from Alex, who I am completely enamored by, for anything less than love? Maybe I am too one sided. Let’s think about this. Isn’t love why humans live? Is it not why we continue? Or is it actually a shortcoming? Is it doing more harm than good? It hurts more than it heals? Is it sacrifice and leads inevitably to anguish? It is good, bad and often times ugly. From Wiki: “Studies have shown that brain scans of those infatuated by love display a resemblance to those with a mental illness.” So, maybe I should just relax. I should enjoy being in love with Alex and enjoy the company of other’s.  I’m sure true love is hard to find.  If I find it again, that would be awesome, but I will not hold out for a specific feeling.  Having some life experiences can only help me develop as an individual. I’ve had it really good in life and love. I am glad that we are looking for what else life has to offer. I hope that the future holds joy and growth. That’s all I will ask for.