Stranger in a Strange Land
Two whole month this post has been standing over me. I never knew how to approach it. One minute I wanted to talk about how I missed him and the next I wanted him out of my mind. It’s difficult to write about something that your body wont let you. I do miss Buckley. I’m sorry to say that two month later and still a day doesn’t go by that I dont think of him at least once. There are so many things about him that I miss. I miss how genuine he was. He never allowed himself to be anyone else when he was with me. He let me get to know him on his deepest level. I think about this and I miss him; but then I suddenly realize that he never inquired into who I was. He never read my blog. I asked him to once. He said he would. I told him part of it was sad and he said he wouldn’t read it then. “It’s all in the past, right?” he said; which I agreed upon. But there is so much more there that I’m not used to sharing with people. I didn’t know how to be intimate with him and he never inquired.
Another thing I miss most about him is how passionate he was towards me. I miss how he felt in my arms. I miss how he looked at me and held my hand as we walked. I miss his music. I miss his positivity. But I’ve learned something over the studying I have done recently and this time away from him. Theodore Reik believed “Tell me whom you love and I will tell you who you are and, more especially, who you want to be.” I have never said this to anyone but, I loved Buckley. Individuals choose mates who satisfy important needs, but most especially qualities they lack. Buckley brought to me so much that I was missing. I found a void that I never even realized existed until it was brought to light by him. Alas, I can’t have him. What can I do but fill this void myself? I already consider myself a very genuine person. I am also very passionate. I can easily hold hands and reciprocate affection when it is given to me. I am even attempting to bring music into my life directly by learning to play the violin. It is something I have wanted to learn since I was in middle school. The positivity… well, that seems to be getting me into trouble. Perhaps there is a shade of grey and I can be positive without being too overly hopeful, which can sometimes wind up in the naive category.
I saw me in him. I saw him in me. But more especially he has revealed to me what I am missing; things I can have even without him. I have to believe that his decision was in the best interest of us both. I want to be more like him; never mind his faults. Love has got to be the highest compliment you can give someone. I’m sorry he has missed this. But, I am hopeful in my quest to find love again and most importantly feel what it is like for another to fall madly in love with me.
A deliberation of open thought.
greg
February 3rd, 2009 at 7:20 pm
I am elated you are blogging again. Love is scary and I completely understand not wanting to admit that you truly loved him. To me, admitting it is almost like the kiss of death. You are such a beautiful person and you deserve to be completely head over heals….and I do too. So far, I am on the right track and you are too. You love yourself first and that is the most important thing
<3 Greg